Paste: If you value your own sanity and the respect of your family, DO NOT attempt to dye any clothes that your kids will wear. Sure, it's somehow already 10 at night and I have three dresses with average dye jobs as part of the girls' Halloween costumes, (wait, PART OF?), but here's how it all went down. 1. Dyed all three dresses pink, green, and blue, respectively. 2. Patted myself on back for keeping Farris from ripping open pink dye all over floor. 3. Realized that pink dress and green dress had streaks and spots. 4. Used color remover to remove color from those so I could start over. Green dress turned slime-yellow. 5. Followed up with bleach. In the process, splashed bleach onto perfectly dyed blue dress. Green dress turned old-wallpaper yellow. 6. Used another color remover on green dress. It turned white again. 7. Re-dyed pink dress and green dress. Luke's voice from across the room said pink solution had "substrates floating to top" and we should "remove dress immediately." Pink dress still has spots. 8. Soaked blue dress in bleach. It didn't work. 9. Soaked blue dress in color remover. Turned purple. 10. Literally threw hands in air. Patted back for not cussing. 11. Soaked blue dress in bleach again, finally lightened up. 12. Re-dyed blue dress. 13. Used bleach to lighten pink dress and spots. 14. Ran out of pink dye so used Crystal Light Pink Lemonade drink mix. Turned a nice shade of peach-pink-ish. Whatever. 15. Noticed blue dye on own shirt. 16. Rinsed all three dresses and put in washing machine. 17. Got glass of wine. #mixedmediamonday