Hello, World--and I mean that literally. All 6,706,993,152 of you that have access to these thoughts of mine right now, I've been thinking, and I'm not so sure I would like to share them quite as much any more.
The other morning I was trying to do a Bible study, and I was flustered at the realization that I had an NIV Bible, an ESV Bible, a New Members Bible study organizer notebook from church, a study on 2 Corinthians notebook, a prayer journal, and a regular journal. I need them to all be in one place! It got me thinking about how exhausted I am from all these networks I am part of: Facebook, LinkedIn, this blog, Gmail, more mailing lists than anyone could want in his lifetime, etc. I am an introvert, and I am tired of being hooked up. I am tired of updating my Facebook status, posting about art that I want to do but don't do, and thinking about how to downplay real thoughts to be palatable to others via the aforementioned means of global communication, rather than reaching for my journal. In short, I am tired of broadcasting myself. I find myself trivializing, glossing over, humorously translating, or completely ignoring my thoughts and feelings, however triumphant or despondent they may be, so that I can post them on my Facebook status, rather than default to an emotionless and evasive action-oriented, "Sarah Robins is reading."
When did my journal lose its place in my thought process? I have journaled since 3rd grade and I believe I'm now on book number twenty-something. I suppose that with adulthood and digital technology came transient thought-sharing...but instead of true ideas and even ruminations or raw emotions shared through a pen with a book or one's closest friends, we now tell the world. We either recklessly bare our minds and hearts to the quick and chapping wind of the entire earth whirling through space, and all its population, (or, contrarily, a lack of audience, and resulting hollow echo) and suffer the self-induced loss of our privacy, or we mute our ideas so much that no one really hears them in their original states, and we're left desparate and dissatisfied.
So perhaps the solution is to treat these things as they are, and render to them what is theirs... but nothing more. I think I will save my private thoughts for my journal, save the art for the blog, and Facebook status? "Sarah Robins is reading."
I'd love to hear some thoughts on this... speaking of broadcasting!