Hello, World--and I mean that literally. All 6,706,993,152 of you that have access to these thoughts of mine right now, I've been thinking, and I'm not so sure I would like to share them quite as much any more.
The other morning I was trying to do a Bible study, and I was flustered at the realization that I had an NIV Bible, an ESV Bible, a New Members Bible study organizer notebook from church, a study on 2 Corinthians notebook, a prayer journal, and a regular journal. I need them to all be in one place! It got me thinking about how exhausted I am from all these networks I am part of: Facebook, LinkedIn, this blog, Gmail, more mailing lists than anyone could want in his lifetime, etc. I am an introvert, and I am tired of being hooked up. I am tired of updating my Facebook status, posting about art that I want to do but don't do, and thinking about how to downplay real thoughts to be palatable to others via the aforementioned means of global communication, rather than reaching for my journal. In short, I am tired of broadcasting myself. I find myself trivializing, glossing over, humorously translating, or completely ignoring my thoughts and feelings, however triumphant or despondent they may be, so that I can post them on my Facebook status, rather than default to an emotionless and evasive action-oriented, "Sarah Robins is reading."
When did my journal lose its place in my thought process? I have journaled since 3rd grade and I believe I'm now on book number twenty-something. I suppose that with adulthood and digital technology came transient thought-sharing...but instead of true ideas and even ruminations or raw emotions shared through a pen with a book or one's closest friends, we now tell the world. We either recklessly bare our minds and hearts to the quick and chapping wind of the entire earth whirling through space, and all its population, (or, contrarily, a lack of audience, and resulting hollow echo) and suffer the self-induced loss of our privacy, or we mute our ideas so much that no one really hears them in their original states, and we're left desparate and dissatisfied.
So perhaps the solution is to treat these things as they are, and render to them what is theirs... but nothing more. I think I will save my private thoughts for my journal, save the art for the blog, and Facebook status? "Sarah Robins is reading."
I'd love to hear some thoughts on this... speaking of broadcasting!
3 comments:
It has been a bit of a dilemma for me as well. Here is how I handle it at the moment:
My blog has thought out ideas almost like little essays. It is mix between my political thoughts, religion, and business.
My private journal is on Pixlin.com.
My flickr carries an archive of ALL my photos.
My facebook has anything I want my friends to see or have access to.
My status updates on facebook feed to my twitter account (really the twitter is just a place marker so no one can take my name). My status updates are a mix of links I am reading about right now. The in between private journal entry moments, and just posting things to get my friends to laugh or comment.
Recently my brothers and I just created Status King. It is a facebook app that not only has hundreds of clever and inspiring status updates but it lets you print your status update into a t-shirt. So now I am wearing my status updates as well :)
I guess my point is that I am just tired of broadcasting all of my thoughts, discoveries, feelings, likes, dislikes, etc. and feel that I have to distill or dilute them to the basest level in order to even share them with such a large, global population. Since when did the extroverts take over communication, anyway? Why do we feel that people want to know 25 random things about us on Facebook, or anything about us at all, for that matter? (I admit: sometimes I do like reading those 25 things, but a lot of times they not funny or interesting or worthy of even being written down.)
While I will (albeit, perhaps rather reluctantly) continue to keep in touch via these different channels of communication, a large part of me no longer wants to attempt to express those things that were never intended to be expressed to the entire world (and by my calculation, about 95% of our lives falls into that category) and I no longer want to have any expectation of being heard or understood by the virtual world. I just think it's too much to ask, and it sets a person up for disappointment.
I agree. Winter of Our Discontent. Maybe it should be Winter of our Our Disconnect? What if we actually unplugged for a while—what would happen? Would we accomplish more with less? Less to have to track, update, purge, file? Less to distract us? Less to annoy? As marvelous as technology can be, I wonder, too, just how destructive it can be, if not kept in check?
All things in moderation, right?
At what cost do I plug when I should check out? I was thinking the other day of getting a kitchen timer to sit next to my computer, to help maintain balance and not get sucked in to the cyber abyss. Life is happening out there. Do I sit here and pretend as though I am participating? I am. Virtually. But Facebook is not the same as face time. It has its place. As does LinkedIn.
Just got to remember not to get *sucked in*.
And as for who I am when I am communicating to the world via a blog, etc. etc. — to the people who know me, they could see past any repackaging should I try to recreate myself. So no worries there. I mean, I could try, but so far, Facebook, etc. has served a good purpose, and that has been to reconnect with friends with whom I have touch. I don't try to wear my heart on my virtual sleeve there. And that's worked out pretty well. But I do know some who want to use it as a substitute for real relationships. And there's the rub. When you start looking forward to sitting down and checking out everyone on Facebook more than nurturing the relationships you've already got—in real time—then it's time to pull the plug.
Just because you can play chess with a computer, doesn't mean you always should.
It's a tool; and when used properly, it can be a conduit to wonderful things. But tread lightly. It's hard to retract late-night soul bearings once they're out there. Save those for the face time with friends.
And not for the Facebook. :)
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